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Insult Like A Chap

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So I'm bored, it's Friday afternoon and I recently say a Chap Hop video somewhere that amused me somewhat:


Then in another thread, Barenkuclee I believe, I found two Chap- like insults of which gleaned a grin:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Smackjack View Post
Your mother is an irate whore and your father regrets your existence.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smackjack View Post
Your life is a lie, and your parents made you through permiscuous sex.

Considering the above, off the top of my head I came up with:
Quote:

Your penis is of the miniature variety, you were born in a house of ill repute and raised by animals cloven hoofed.
Instead of shitting up the thread with further Chap-like Insults, I decided it was high time that we unleashed our inner Chaps and indulged in a little "Your Maternal progenitor".

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