I'm posting this in Boff so that it can address any situation you've had to deal with, not necessarily limited to MA. Your tale must be true, though perhaps improbable in terms of either the situation or your solution. Or both. I'll go first.
About ten years ago, I was teaching high school gym in the Ottawa area, a school I'd been working at for about five years. The senior classes were co-ed. A not-too-uncommon situation arose regarding a grade-11 female student who--for reasons I could never figure out--had developed a teacher-crush of which I was the unfortunate recipient. As unappealing as I considered myself to be, the fact is that, at a certain age, girls don't find a lot of attraction in the relatively-immature boys their own age, and their perspectives can be distorted by hormonal influences to which they're not yet accustomed.
All this girl's spare time was soon spent hanging around the athletic department, she kept trying to switch to my classes despite the effect it would have on her schedule, volunteering for department activities everyone knew she would not usually have in interest in...and then there was the staring, staring, staring. She wasn't a bad kid or anything, a pretty good student grade-wise and on the volleyball team. However, this growing obsession had the potential to interfere with her progress.
Anyone who's been the object of student crushes knows it can run the gamut from comical to tragic (depending on levels of desperation), but it is one the the least comfortable situations a male teacher can find himself in.
Solutions aren't always as straightforward as they might seem. Confronting the student, or parents, head-on will often result in angry denials, counter-accusations and the no progress. Going to admin will often simply result in "Well, just keep classroom doors open at all times (duh) and avoid the student in question." (No ****, really?--but try avoid being followed around your workplace without having to quit your job outright).
This had become some sort of weird stalking scenario, so I had to think of something. Fortunately, I knew one of the student's best friends (and she was very aware of the matter--she told me stalker-girl was talking about little else and it was getting on all her friends' nerves), so I asked for her help with a plan I'd come up with.
As stalker-girl had developed a habit of sitting at a school-cafeteria table, staring at yours-truly and drawing pictures on days when I was there on lunch duty, I asked her friend to join me at another table with some other students. The friend would keep an eye on stalker-girl and then, when the staring started, she'd kick me under the table. I told the friend what I was going to do and apologized in advance. It was all set up.
So...as soon as I got the kick from under the table, I took my right pinkie, chose a nostril and jammed and dug and jammed and dug and jammed and dug some more. I made sure not to make eye contact with stalker-girl while doing this because, not being stupid, she might guess why it was being done, and that would defeat the purpose. She had to think this was something I was doing as a habit.
As the cafeteria was noisy, the stalker-girl's friend could freely relate the reaction:
"OMG--Oh sir, you should see her eyes! Now she's making her 'eww'-face! Okay, now she's getting up...she just walked out of the caf like she's being chased!!!"
So, I asked, you think it worked?
"Oh yeah, it worked!"
Not pleasant, but indeed it had worked like a charm. No more weird crush, no more following or staring. Problem solved.
Okay, your turn.
About ten years ago, I was teaching high school gym in the Ottawa area, a school I'd been working at for about five years. The senior classes were co-ed. A not-too-uncommon situation arose regarding a grade-11 female student who--for reasons I could never figure out--had developed a teacher-crush of which I was the unfortunate recipient. As unappealing as I considered myself to be, the fact is that, at a certain age, girls don't find a lot of attraction in the relatively-immature boys their own age, and their perspectives can be distorted by hormonal influences to which they're not yet accustomed.
All this girl's spare time was soon spent hanging around the athletic department, she kept trying to switch to my classes despite the effect it would have on her schedule, volunteering for department activities everyone knew she would not usually have in interest in...and then there was the staring, staring, staring. She wasn't a bad kid or anything, a pretty good student grade-wise and on the volleyball team. However, this growing obsession had the potential to interfere with her progress.
Anyone who's been the object of student crushes knows it can run the gamut from comical to tragic (depending on levels of desperation), but it is one the the least comfortable situations a male teacher can find himself in.
Solutions aren't always as straightforward as they might seem. Confronting the student, or parents, head-on will often result in angry denials, counter-accusations and the no progress. Going to admin will often simply result in "Well, just keep classroom doors open at all times (duh) and avoid the student in question." (No ****, really?--but try avoid being followed around your workplace without having to quit your job outright).
This had become some sort of weird stalking scenario, so I had to think of something. Fortunately, I knew one of the student's best friends (and she was very aware of the matter--she told me stalker-girl was talking about little else and it was getting on all her friends' nerves), so I asked for her help with a plan I'd come up with.
As stalker-girl had developed a habit of sitting at a school-cafeteria table, staring at yours-truly and drawing pictures on days when I was there on lunch duty, I asked her friend to join me at another table with some other students. The friend would keep an eye on stalker-girl and then, when the staring started, she'd kick me under the table. I told the friend what I was going to do and apologized in advance. It was all set up.
So...as soon as I got the kick from under the table, I took my right pinkie, chose a nostril and jammed and dug and jammed and dug and jammed and dug some more. I made sure not to make eye contact with stalker-girl while doing this because, not being stupid, she might guess why it was being done, and that would defeat the purpose. She had to think this was something I was doing as a habit.
As the cafeteria was noisy, the stalker-girl's friend could freely relate the reaction:
"OMG--Oh sir, you should see her eyes! Now she's making her 'eww'-face! Okay, now she's getting up...she just walked out of the caf like she's being chased!!!"
So, I asked, you think it worked?
"Oh yeah, it worked!"
Not pleasant, but indeed it had worked like a charm. No more weird crush, no more following or staring. Problem solved.
Okay, your turn.