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18. David vs. Goliath

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  • On March 30th, 1996, three obese Americans traveled to the Ukraine to take part in a no-holds-barred fighting tournament named the International Fighting Championship. Little did they know, the entire event was a ruse set up by a conglomeration of Eastern European scientists to test the capabilities of a genetically engineered Supersoldier. The prototype soldier, codenamed I.G.O.R., was slated to engage each of the men in individual combat in order to assess its fighting prowess. What resulted were three of the most heinous asswhoopings ever witnessed by human eyes.

    Biographies:

    Fred Floyd was a 350 lbs black man with a background in “Budokan Kung-Fu.” He also trained kickboxing, and was supposedly the PKA Superheavyweight champion. He fought in several NHB shows in the mid-90’s, going up against the likes of Kimo Leopoldo. His most notable achievements were defeating WCW wrestler Jerry Flynn in the World Combat Championships and making it to the finals WVC 1.

    Paul Varelans was a 6’8”, 300 lbs “Trapfighter” from Alaska. He’s best known for appearing in five separate early UFC tournaments. Varelans went up against some of the best of his day, including Dan Severn, Mark Kerr, Tank Abbott, Kimo Leopoldo, and Marco Ruas (Whom he lost to via leg kicks in the finals of UFC 7). His victory over Joe Morerira at UFC 8 is possibly the first time an American legitimately defeated a BJJ blackbelt.

    John Dixson was a 260 lbs mixed martial artist who also fought professionally as a kickboxer and boxer. Over the course of his 37 fight career, he’s tangled with the likes of Dan Severn, Anthony Macias, Remco Pardoel, Travis Fulton, Kevin Jordan, Justin Eilers, Travis Wiuff, and Jeremy Horn. He also fought Tra Telligman in his 35 fight boxing career. He actually succeeded in breaking I.G.O.R.’s jaw during their fight, but the pain threshold of the Supersoldier proved to be much higher than a normal human’s. This was accentuated when Dixson himself tapped out from a broken nose.

    Conclusion:

    The prototype was deemed a huge success by the scientists in attendance. Soon after, the main model was commissioned to be fitted and deployed for battle. It’s codename: F.E.D.O.R.
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